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The Therapy Crouch: In Search of Happy (N)ever After
Par Abbey Clancy, Peter Crouch. 2023
Join the nation's favourite married couple and chart-topping podcast hosts, Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch, as they discuss the realities…
of modern relationships in this hilarious and relatable guide.From the moment you swipe right or lock eyes across a crowded bar, you step onto a rollercoaster ride of dating, first kisses and romantic weekends away. Then before you know it, you're meeting the in-laws, moving in together and walking down the aisle. It's not all highs, there are lows too: you've got your other half's annoying habits to discover and you need to learn how to win every argument in pursuit of always being right.When kids come along, sexy text messages make way for school whatsapp groups and suddenly you have no time for one another. Life is a blur of nappies, sleepless nights and chauffeuring as your offspring embark on a more colourful social life than you could dream of. That first date might just be the start of a relationship that lasts for the rest of your life, so choose wisely.From hooking up to breaking up and getting together to staying together, join us as we navigate our way through the trials and tribulations of dating and relationships. Celebrating all that's good and bad about being in pursuit of love, we ask can you ever find you happy ever after?That's More Of It Now: The Second Book Of Irish Mammies
Par Colm O'Regan. 2013
Colm O’Regan’s massive bestseller Isn’t It Well For Ye? The Book of Irish Mammies brought the wonderful world of the…
Irish Mammy to homes across Ireland, where it took pride of place alongside the good scissors and the bit of string that might come in handy someday. And now, before you can say “Is it that time already?”, Irish Mammy is back with more words of wisdom. That’s More Of It Now: The Second Book of Irish Mammies takes us even deeper into this parallel universe, with advice on everything from how to tell Mammy she is about to become a Granny to how to discipline a child (aged 0–45), touching on Irish Mammies’ role in the worlds of sport, the workplace, technology, religion and culture. Enjoy popular fairy-tales retold with an Irish Mammy at the centre of them; marvel at exclusive, not-yet-released scenes from the epic Game of Scones; and find some essential apps for the Modern Mammy’s tablet.Probably the most important sequel since The Godfather Part II, or at least Fifty Shades Darker, That’s More Of It Now will find a place in everybody’s heart (and stocking). Just don’t leave it on a damp step.That Moment When: Life Stories from Way Back Then
Par Mo Gilligan. 2021
Come on my journey. Look at where man's come from. I was working in retail in 2017.You might know Mo…
as the critically acclaimed stand-up comedian, BAFTA-winning presenter, Masked Singer judge and social media mega star. But do you know the moments that really made him? Opening up on the turning points, the good times, the challenges and the lessons learned, this is Mo as you've never seen him before.Journeying through childhood memories in South London, Mo reminisces about school days and old-school raving, and takes us behind the scenes of his first comedy gigs, the creation of the original Geezer, selling out national tours and becoming one of TV's most in-demand stars. Share the moment that Mo decided he wanted to be a comedian, the moment he went viral, the moment he realised he was famous (and how to deal with it), the moment his Netflix special dropped, the moment he won his BAFTA and the moments he still has to come.In among the laugh-out-loud observations, life lessons and candid storytelling, there lies the bigger influences in Mo's life - the unsung heroes of the Black British comedy scene, the power of community and the feel-good legacy he wants to create.'The Funniest Man in Britain' The TimesThanks For Nothing
Par Jack Dee. 2009
Comedian Jack Dee's hilarious account of how he became quite such a miserable git and a stand up comedian.'A brilliant…
book. So funny. It's my bible' Paul O'GradyIn this hilariously frank account of his life, Jack Dee finally reveals what turned a once optimistic young man into this grumpy middle-aged git. It's a journey that takes him from a first gig as a ventriloquist's dummy, to working in an artificial leg factory and delivering incontinence pads for the NHS, before he finally ends up on stage at the Comedy Store. Along the way, Jack shares his laugh-out-loud views on everything from the 'overrated moon landing' to boutique hotels, personal trainers and 'people who hold their cutlery the wrong way'.Outrageous, absurd, and full of surprises, this is Jack Dee at his funniest.Terms of Employment: The secret lingo of the workplace
Par Charlie Croker. 2012
Has your doctor ever prescribed you some bug-juice? Or sent you to the rheumaholiday department?Have you ever read an article…
full of anecdata or reviewphemisms?Do you think you work in an adhocracy, for a seagull manager?Every workplace has its own words and phrases, from the Smurf juice used to clean plane toilets to the Peckham Rolexes, worn by criminals on release from prison. For Terms of Employment, Charlie Croker has patrolled hospital corridors, hung out by office water-coolers and lingered in shops to listen in on the conversations that only take place at work, gathering together the jargon we all use, often without thinking. Whether you're a white wig (new barrister), a heatseeker (ambitious employee) or an entreprenerd (geeky IT pioneer) Terms of Employment is an invaluable - and entertaining - guide.The Ten (Food) Commandments
Par Jay Rayner. 2016
Britain's culinary Moses brings us the new foodie rules to live by, celebrating what and how we eatThe Ten Commandments…
may have had a lot going for them, but they don't offer those of us located in the 21st Century much in the way of guidance when it comes to our relationship with our food. And Lord knows we need it.Enter our new culinary Moses, the legendary restaurant critic Jay Rayner, with a new set of hand-tooled commandments for this food-obsessed age. He deals once and for all with questions like whether it is ever okay to covet thy neighbour's oxen (it is), eating with your hands (very important indeed) and if you should cut off the fat (no). Combining reportage and anecdotes with recipes worthy of adoration, Jay Rayner brings us the new foodie rules to live by.My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about seven - David BeckhamFor Tony to admit…
he is an alcoholic took an awful lot of bottle - Ian Wright on Tony AdamsI've been playing in a golf day for a boy seriously injured in a car accident. I had to drive like a lunatic to get here - Ray Houghton, TalkSport football pundit, on why he was late on-airReporter: What would you be if you weren't a footballer?Peter Crouch: A virgin.I've never been so certain about anything in my life. I want to be a coach. Or a manager. I'm not sure which - Phil NevilleFootballers may not be known for their profound insights, but it seems no one in the game is above a mixed metaphor or confused cliché. From Harry Redknapp to Martin O'Neill, Patrice Evra to Jason McAteer, see the funny side of the beautiful game with this hilarious collection of verbal own goals. Packed full of hilarious quotes, quips and misfires from the biggest names in football, Tell Him He's Pele is a must for everyone with a sense of humour.Teenage Revolution
Par Alan Davies. 2009
When Alan Davies was growing up he seemed to drive his family mad. 'What are we going to do with…
you?' they would ask - as if he might know the answer.Perhaps it was because he came of age in the 1980s. That decade of big hair, greed, camp music, mass unemployment, social unrest and truly shameful trousers was confusing for teenagers. There was a lot to believe in - so much to stand for, or stand against - and Alan decided to join anything with the word 'anti' in it. He was looking for heroes to guide him (relatively) unscathed into adulthood.From his chronic kleptomania to the moving search for his mother's grave years after she died; from his obsession with joining (going so far as to become a member of Chickens Lib) to his first forays into making people laugh (not always intentionally); Teenage Revolution is a touching and funny return to the formative years that make us all.Tao For Babies
Par Chris Riddell. 2000
Lao Tzu's ancient text, the Tao Teh Ching, has much to offer the new infant. With their instinctive grasp of…
its principles, babies everywhere will find the wisdom contained in this new interpretation both a revelation and a confirmation of their own world vision. Targeted specifically at their needs, the charmingly illustrated aphorisms will enable them to enhance their understanding of the subject and share these great lessons with their family and carers. Essential reading for all those who wish to make an early start in their search for wisdom and enlightenment.Surviving Ireland
Par Colm Tobin. 2015
It’s exhausting, being Irish. The constant self-flagellation is enough to put anybody off their breakfast.Why are we so hard on…
ourselves? Is it the post-colonial overhang following centuries of oppression at the hands of a litany of foreign invaders? Or is it collective guilt for sending Westlife out into the wider world? In Surviving Ireland, acclaimed comedy writer Colm Tobin* takes the reader by the hand for a satirical romp through modern Irish life. As well as providing all the tools you’ll need to navigate this often tricky little island (except a compass or anything even resembling a fact), the book will take you through some of the country’s fraught history, asking some searing questions in the process: how did we get here, where are we going and who in the name of God is going to pay for it all?Surviving Ireland takes in culture and politics, town and country, food and drink, birth, death and everything in between. Let it be your definitive guide to this strange and bewildering rock, cowering from the cold Atlantic swells. Oh, and it’s got some funny drawings in it as well. * Not the Booker Prize-nominated author Colm Tóibín.Sure, I'll Join Your Cult: A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere
Par Maria Bamford. 2023
INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From &“weird, scary, ingenious&” (The New York Times) stand-up comedian Maria Bamford, a brutally honest…
and hilariously frenetic memoir about show business, mental health, and the comfort of rigid belief systems—from Dale Carnegie&’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, to Suzuki violin training, to Richard Simmons, to 12-step programs.Maria Bamford is a comedian&’s comedian (an outsider among outsiders) and has forever fought to find a place to belong. From struggling with an eating disorder as a child of the 1980s, to navigating a career in the arts (and medical debt and psychiatric institutionalization), she has tried just about every method possible to not only be a part of the world, but to want to be a part of it. In Bamford&’s signature voice, Sure, I&’ll Join Your Cult, brings us on a quest to participate in something. With sincerity and transparency, she recounts every anonymous fellowship she has joined (including but not limited to: Debtors Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and Overeaters Anonymous), every hypomanic episode (from worrying about selling out under capitalism to enforcing union rules on her Netflix TV show set to protect her health), and every easy 1-to-3-step recipe for fudge in between. Singular and inimitable, Bamford&’s memoir explores what it means to keep going, and to be a member of society (or any group she&’s invited to) despite not being very good at it. In turn, she hopes to transform isolating experiences into comedy that will make you feel less alone (without turning into a cult following).Strictly English: The correct way to write ... and why it matters
Par Simon Heffer. 2010
"Be in no doubt: the beer was drunk but the man drank the beer.""We must avoid vulgarities like 'front up'.…
If someone is 'fronting up' a television show, then he is presenting it."Simon Heffer's incisive and amusingly despairing emails to colleagues at the The Daily Telegraph about grammatical mistakes and stylistic slips have attracted a growing band of ardent fans over recent years. Now, in his new book Strictly English, he makes an impassioned case for an end to the sloppiness that has become such a hallmark of everyday speech and writing, and shows how accuracy and clarity are within the grasp of anyone who is prepared to take the time to master a few simple rules.If you wince when you see "different than" in print, or are offended by people who think that "infer" and "imply" mean the same thing, then this book will provide reassurance that you are not alone. And if you believe that precise and elegant English really does matter, then it will prove required reading.Spike Milligan: Warning - Don't Eat The Fish
Par Spike Milligan. 2013
Spike Milligan's letters contain some of the best material he ever wrote . . . Collected here for the first…
time are the funniest, rudest and most revealing of them - most of which have never been seen before - from one of the greatest comics of the twentieth century to some of its most famous politicians, actors, celebrities and rock stars (as well as a host of unlikely individuals on some surprising subjects):- rounded teabags ('what did you do with the corners?')- backless hospital gowns ('beyond my comprehension') - heartfelt apologies ('pardon me for being alive') and the imbalance of male and female ducks in London's parks. Here, then, is the real Spike Miligan: obsessive, rude, generous and relentlessly witty.'Milligan's zaniness shines through' Telegraph 'The godfather of alternative comedy' Eddie IzzardSpike Milligan was one of the greatest and most influential comedians of the twentieth century. Born in India in 1918, he served in the Royal Artillery during WWII in North Africa and Italy. At the end of the war, he forged a career as a jazz musician, sketch-show writer and performer, before joining forces with Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe to form the legendary Goon Show. Until his death in 2002, he had success as on stage and screen and as the author of over eighty books of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays, cartoons and children's stories.The Bible According to Spike Milligan
Par Spike Milligan. 1993
Spike Milligan's legendary war memoirs are a hilarious and subversive first-hand account of the Second World War, as well as…
a fascinating portrait of the formative years of this towering comic genius, most famous as writer and star of The Goon Show. They have sold over 4.5 million copies.The Old Testament: but more mad, more merry, more... Milligan!"And God said, Let there be light; and there was light, but Eastern Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."There have been many interpretations of the Old Testament over the centuries but never one quite like this. Spike Milligan has rewritten, in his own inimitable style, many of the best-known stories of the Old Testament, featuring characters like King "my brain hurts" Solomon, the great oaf of a giant Goliath and the lesser-known crossword clue, Hushai the Archite.Believers and non-believers alike will enjoy this hilarious re-working, where the jokes, jests and jibes tumble over each other from Chapter One, Verse One until kingdom come.The Stig: The Untold Story
Par Simon Du Beaumarche. 2012
Who is The Stig? Where did he come from? Why does he never speak?To answer these questions, award-winning biographer Simon…
du Beaumarche spent a year chasing The Stig and talking to those closest to him, including Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May and leading figures from Formula 1, music, movies and the military.What he discovered is an explosive story of intrigue, influence and a sensational conspiracy that seeks to hide the truth about one of the 21st century’s greatest icons.Get behind the visor of the man, the myth, the driver, the legend, THE STIG.This book contains adult humour and some themes that may be unsuitable for children.Still Lost in Translation: More misadventures in English abroad
Par Charlie Croker. 2007
Have you ever arrived in a hotel room and been baffled by the information provided? Beware of your luggage.In your…
room you will find a minibar which is filled with alcoholics. Do not throw urine around.Have you ever been to a restaurant and wondered what on earth to order?Bored Meat StewLorry Driver SoupKiss LorraineHave you ever arrived in an airport and found that the supposedly helpful signs just make you feel more lost?You are required to declare all sorts of private things.Departure. Bus stop. Car rectal.Please buy your ticket consciously.Charlie Croker has, and in 2006 he gathered together what he thought was the definitive collection of English language howlers for his bestselling book Lost in Translation. But he reckoned without the great British public. Not only was the book a smash hit, it also opened the floodgates to a deluge of emails and letters stuffed full of further mistranslations and mutilated phrases. From a leaflet from the Museum of Rasputin in Russia (which is apparently situated in a house that belonged a pilot fish Zubov) to a song title on a pirated Pink Floyd CD (Come Fartably Numb), the scrambled sentences just kept flooding in. At the same time Charlie has continued his travels and picked up gems of his own. With such a wealth of material, a sequel wasn't just a necessity, it was a public service, and Still Lost in Translation is even more addictive, whimsical and side-splittingly hilarious than the first book.Crazy Like a Fox: The Classic Comedy Collection
Par S. J. Perelman. 2024
A beloved classic returns: S. J. Perelman's own selection of the very best of his hilarious stories and sketchesPulitzer Prize–winning…
author Joshua Cohen (The Netanyahus) reintroduces America's zaniest humorist to a new generation of readersWhen asked about himself the writer Sidney Joseph Perelman once quipped, "before they made him, they broke the mold." Nowhere is S. J. Perelman's one-of-a-kind, madcap sensibility—his gift for wordplay, witticism, spoofery, and sheer nonsense—on better display than in his classic collection Crazy Like a Fox, here restored to print for the first time in decades.In a playful, loving tribute to the funny man, novelist Joshua Cohen—also an erudite wordsmith and punster—introduces Perelman&’s sui generis comic pieces to a new generation of readers, certain to fall in love with the writer whom The New York Times once noted for his ability &“to transform the common cliché or figure of speech into an exploding cigar.&” Included here are such beloved classics as:the Joycean virtuoso performance &“Scenario&”&“A Farewell to Omsk,&” Perelman's hilarious homage to Dostoevskyand &“Farewell, My Lovely Appetizer," his side-splitting send-up of the hardboiled detective fiction of Raymond ChandlerHere is Perelman's own selection of the very best of his inimitable humor, restored to print for the first time in decades.Usefully Useless: Everything you'd Never Learn at School (But May Like to Know)
Par Mark Hanks. 2011
Usefully Useless is a gloriously diverse volume dedicated to the most engrossing trivia in the world. Guaranteed to excite the…
curiosity and amuse, its pages are filled with the sort of remarkable information you would never learn, but will be overjoyed to discover. Each fact is irresistibly fun and fascinating - the essence of anecdote and dinner-party conversation that is essential in the adult world - and, above all, usefully useless. Guaranteed to improve your mind, Usefully Useless contains a wealth of miscellany on a vast range of topics, including Literature, Geography, Food, Science, the Natural World, Sport and Politics - from the export of frogs' legs to the longest Monopoly game completed in the bath. Usefully Useless provides answers to such eternal questions as:What was Margaret Thatcher's favourite sitcom?Which British league football team's name has no letters that one could colour in with a pen?How many calories do you consume when you lick a stamp?What was the original colour of Coca-Cola?Which key do toilets flush in?Find out these answers and many, many more in Usefully Useless, the essential guide to the facts you never thought you'd need to know.Who Writes This Crap?
Par Joel Stickley, Luke Wright. 2008
Do you ever wonder who's responsible for the rubbish that you read every day?In Who Writes this Crap, Stickley and…
Wright take the most ridiculous examples of junk mail, packaging, emails and advertising and rewrite them in side-splitting new ways. Whether it’s a smoothie label, a newspaper headline or an unsolicited email from a Nigerian prince, this fun and irreverent satire will change the way you read forever.Laser Quit Smoking Massage
Par Cole Nowicki. 2024
From prairie towns to sprawling cities, Laser Quit Smoking Massage revels in the peculiarities of the Canadian West. A unique…
and exciting new voice in Canadian literature, Cole Nowicki’s witty, insightful, and ever-curious reportage explores the evolving states of community, family, and belonging.